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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24644605">cheers to regret, wash it down with some booze</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/newct127/pseuds/newct127'>newct127</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Suh Youngho | Johnny, Casual Sex, Drinking, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Gentle Sex, Hook-Up, Light-Hearted, Loss of Virginity, Love Bites, M/M, Making Out, Not beta'd we die like men, Porn With Plot, Slice of Life, Top Moon Taeil, again in a way, i wrote most of this at work don't tell my boss, in a way???, johnny wants to lose his anal virginity, needy johnny, that's the fic, this isn't what i intended it to be, what do i lift you bastard!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:28:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,549</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24644605</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/newct127/pseuds/newct127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><br/>Taeil's is getting brain fucked by Johnny, who's only doing it because he wants Taeil to fuck his brains out.</p><p>aka, Johnny wants Taeil to fuck him in a one and done fashion, and there’s nothing more to it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Moon Taeil, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>135</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>cheers to regret, wash it down with some booze</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/RizzEditions/gifts">RizzEditions</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>rizzeditions casually mentioned johnny being a needy bottom for taeil, and that sent me down this path. i hope i don't disappoint cause this got away from me very quickly.<br/>i had the intention of writing it as this really lovey johnil thing, but i also wanted to keep it fun and in the end i just wrote casual sex, but also ten wrecked my bias list this week so tenil is involved??? i rewrote many bits, and none of it felt right until i got here. i didn't even think i'd make it in time for taeil's birthday.<br/> </p><p>the title is from like lovers do from hey violet</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"We're drunk," Taeil breathes out the words.</p><p>He’s fighting against his instincts, and they’re all telling him he should give into the sensation, he shouldn’t fight it. But it’s not right. They’re really drunk, drunker than Taeil ever remembers them being, and it wouldn’t be right.</p><p>Johnny pulls his head slightly away, lips still hovering over Taeil’s neck, his warm breath hitting the sensitive and wet bit he was sucking on.</p><p>“We’re just kissing,” Johnny whispers, and Taeil squirms because it’s just so sexy.</p><p>It shouldn’t be. They’re not lovers. They’re barely friends. They’re just roommates that don’t really talk too much, but sometimes drink together while watching basketball. That’s it. This is all coming out of the blue, and Taeil isn’t sure what’s going on.</p><p>Frankly, Taeil had no idea Johnny had any interest in men. He thought he was pretty straight, a conclusion he made because of all the girls he met in the morning, made coffee for, and walked to the bus station with in the past. It’s not a conversation they’ve had. There are a lot of conversation they haven’t had, but that one seems a bit important now that Johnny is generally a bit too interested in him. He has a hand traveling up and down his thigh, lips sucking on his skin, making Taeil feel all confused.</p><p>“Johnny. I shouldn’t.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t, or do you not want to?” he asks, raising his head to look directly into Taeil’s eyes, expecting an answer.</p><p>Taeil gulps. Shouldn’t. It’s most definitely shouldn’t. He wants to. Every inch of his body is screaming yes. Johnny’s feels so warm and Taeil’s getting lost in it.</p><p>It’s just that he doesn’t really understand why this is happening. So he shouldn’t.</p><p>“It’s not that I don’t want to.”</p><p>“Then kiss me,” Johnny says, but his voice quickly turns into a beg, “Please. Kiss me.”</p><p>As Taeil glues his lips back to Johnny’s, Johnny pulls him closer, and a few maneuvers later, Taeil’s straddling him and has his arms over Johnny’s shoulders. Johnny’s holding him close, his arms wrapped tightly around Taeil’s body, and it seems as though he doesn’t intend to ever let go. That neediness only turns Taeil on more, and his kisses grow hungrier. The air feels hot and humid, the apartment becomes impossible to breathe in. It doesn’t lead anywhere special, and Taeil doesn’t remember any of it in the morning.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>With every little movement he makes Taeil gets a pounding sensation in his head that only makes his headache worse. It serves him right, who gets that drunk on a Tuesday?</p><p>He’s sitting with his head on his resting on his desk. He arrived first at work, hoping that the few minutes alone in the office, the routine of starting the computers and making coffee will help him with the unpleasantness he’s feeling. It didn’t work though. He’s not in the mood for anything. The smallest of noises are irritating, and today it seems like everyone is just slightly louder than normal. He hates everyone and everything this morning.</p><p>“You look like shit,” Taeyong tells him instead of ‘good morning’, the bang of his jacket hitting his desk echoing in Taeil’s head.</p><p>“Quiet,” he warns, sitting back into his chair. He lets out a deep breath, his last attempt at something that would ease the discomfort, but that really doesn’t do anything, “I feel like shit too.”</p><p>“What happened?” Taeyong whispers out the question in a fairly mocking tone. He knows the answer already. There’s only one thing Taeil does on Tuesday nights.</p><p>“I watched a rerun of a basketball game and got drunk with my roommate.”</p><p>“Who won?”</p><p>Taeil is confused by the fact that Taeyong’s trying to make conversation. He thought he made it abundantly clear the state of mind he’s in.</p><p>“Do I look like I remember anything from last night?”</p><p>“Nope. But,” Taeyong says, pulling up his chair and taking a seat so he can have a direct view of Taeil. He then asks, “Were you two alone?”</p><p>“Yeah. I think so. We were alone when we started drinking. Why are you interrogating me?”</p><p>“I’m just wondering who gave you the hickey.”</p><p>Taeil’s eyes go wide in shock. A hickey? He has no idea what Taeyong’s talking about.</p><p>“What hickey?”</p><p>“The one on your neck,” Taeyong giggles, pointing out the spot, “Who have you been kissing?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Taeil whispers, embarrassment washing over his face.</p><p>“Seriously?”</p><p>“Morning boss! Is that a hickey?” Jungwoo raises an eyebrow at him. They were so wrapped in the conversation, Taeil doing his best to focus despite the headache, that neither of them noticed Jungwoo had arrived.</p><p>“Why is everyone obsessed with my neck?”</p><p>“It’s a really big hickey, hyung,” Jungwoo smiles at him.</p><p>“Does anyone have a mirror?”</p><p>“There’s one in the bathroom,” Taeyong points out the obvious. Right. There is.</p><p>Taeil gets off his chair, and rushes towards the bathroom. He ignores the employees he passes by. His head is on the verge of exploding.</p><p>There it is, right on the side of his neck. How did he not see it this morning? Did he even look in the mirror when he was getting ready for work? No, of course not. He woke up late and so hungover, that he didn’t even look at the clothes he was picking out. He’s probably wearing two different socks.</p><p>Shit. It really is big. How the fuck did it happen? What did he do last night? Did they go out? That’s can’t be. They never go out together. Then who gave it to him? Johnny? No, that can’t be either. Out of all the one night stands that Taeil has seen leave Johnny’s room, there haven’t been any dudes. Just girls. Tall, thin, beautiful girls. It wouldn’t make sense for it to be Johnny.</p><p>He just wishes he remembered who and how, and also what happened. He hangs back in the bathroom, splashing his face with cold water a few times, trying to remember, to wake up fully. Trying to will the hangover away.</p><p>When he returns to the office, covering the hickey with his hand, it’s not as subtle as he first thought it would be. There’s a sea of eyes on him, all of his employees are waiting for an answer.</p><p>“Are you okay, hyung? You’re acting a little odd,” Mark asks.</p><p>“I have a hickey and I don’t know who gave it to me.”</p><p>“No biggie. Been there, done that,” Yuta announces, and everyone else redirects their attention from Taeil to him.</p><p>“You can’t just say that and then not share the story,” Hyuck prompts.</p><p>As Yuta tells his story, the office starts their day. They start the programs, prepare, then drink their cups of morning coffee. The workday always starts slow like this, it’s not uncommon. Taeil’s thankful that it’s Yuta’s story that they’re dissecting, and not his. But he’s not happy for too long. He just wishes he knew what happened.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Taeil started his own accounting business, he put everything he had in it, on top of the loan he got. It isn’t exactly the smartest thing to put all of your savings into one thing, that whole thing about eggs in baskets was something he remembered only after the fact. But he really wanted the business to succeed, so he was ready to do anything. To give up some of his freedoms, the main example being having his own apartment. It wasn’t a big deal though, it was just that now he had to share instead.</p><p>A year in, his business was doing great. The loan was 50% paid off, and all of his employees, including the newest additions, were satisfied with working there, which was really what he was going for. But also a year in, his previous roommate announced he was getting married and moving. So Taeil had to find a new roommate. That’s where Yuta, his second employee he ever hired, came in.</p><p>“I have a friend who’s looking for an apartment,” he told Taeil, before launching into a monologue about how they would be a perfect fit. His friend was clean, he kept to himself, he was flexible about things, and so on. So Taeil agreed to meet with him.</p><p>Johnny never caused any trouble. He was in fact clean, he did in fact keep to himself. The girls that he sometimes brought over were never loud, and he never brought anyone over without prior notice. Yuta was right, perfect fit.</p><p>The drinking and watching basketball started about two months ago. He asked Taeil to join him twice, and after that there would be beer and soju on the table, waiting for him and Taeil would just join in watching The Bulls with his roommate. They got drunk together usually, they didn’t speak too much, but it was all in all a pleasant affair. They never got that drunk though, he has never forgotten a night in his life.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Come on, you haven’t eaten all day. I’ll take you out for dinner. No drinks,” Taeyong promises. Taeil’s stomach grumbles at the thought of food. He didn’t eat all day, it’s true. His headache didn’t really go away, even after he took a painkiller, so he couldn’t get himself to eat anything. He had water and a few of the carrots from Jungwoo’s lunch, but only because Jungwoo kept insisting, and Taeil didn’t want to say no at the worried expression on his face. They all might be his employees, but more than that, they are his friends. And their actions all day long only prove that.</p><p>Taeyong takes him out for some stew, and he watches him closely from the moment they sit down, till the moment the food gets there.</p><p>“Why are you looking at me like that?”</p><p>“I’m trying to figure out why you are beating yourself up over it.”</p><p>Taeil takes a bit of the cubed radish kimchi, chewing on it for way too long as he finds the best way to explain himself. He’s been wondering the same thing too.</p><p>“I don’t remember anything from last night. After I downed the second somaek it gets blurry, after the third I have no idea what happened. I’m embarrassed,” he explains the conclusion he made after an entire day of dissecting his feelings.</p><p>“Did you ask Johnny?” Taeyong asks.</p><p>“Do you think he’d know?”</p><p>“With how often he and Yuta get shitfaced, I imagine his alcohol tolerance is higher than yours. He might remember.”</p><p>Taeyong’s right, Johnny can drink him under the table. There’s no harm in asking.</p><p>“I’ll ask when I get home.”</p><p>“You should do that. Do let me know what you find out, I’m interested in how this mystery will get solved.”</p><p>Maybe even a tad more interested than he should be, Taeil would say.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Taeil’s ready to ask. He means to do it. It just turns out that he doesn’t need to. Johnny gives him the answer moments after he walks through the apartment door.</p><p>He leaves his things on the cabinet by the door, and as soon as he takes off his jacket and exposes his neck, the answer comes.</p><p>“Damn. I did a number on you. Sorry.”</p><p>What?</p><p>What the fuck?</p><p>Taeil blinks a few times, trying to wrap his head around what he just heard.</p><p>“It was you?”</p><p>“Yeah. Do you not remember?” Johnny responds, flashing a smile.</p><p>“Um. No.”</p><p>“We overdid it with the drinks last night. I’m really sorry.” Johnny’s smiling again, so Taeil has no reason but to accept the apology.</p><p>“No worries,” he says, trying to figure out the best way to ask what he wants to ask more than anything, “Did we…”</p><p>“No. We just made out. You’re a great kisser by the way.”</p><p>“Thanks. I’ll let you know my opinion of your skills if I remember.”</p><p>“And I’m eager to hear your assessment,” Johnny smiles again, then heads towards the front door. It’s odd, there is some tension between them, but Taeil can’t pinpoint it. If they really didn’t have sex, then where did this tension come from? It can’t be just from kissing. “I’m gonna get some food. Did you have dinner?”</p><p>“Yes. Thanks for the invite.”</p><p>“I hope it’s not because of last night.”</p><p>It’s more because they have never gone out to eat together in the past, and Taeil did actually eat because he didn’t expect an invitation anywhere. They don’t do invitations. This is really odd. Something’s changed.</p><p>“Not at all. I went out with my friend after work.”</p><p>“Okay. I’ll see you later.”</p><p>Johnny leaves him to sweat with all the questions now running through his head. He only comes back home after Taeil falls asleep.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“What did Johnny say?” All Taeil can do as response to Taeyong’s question is give him a horrified look. Taeyong looks around the office, then swings his head towards the water cooler, the empty corner of the room. That’s where they meet up a minute later, “What’s going on.”</p><p>“Johnny…” Taeil announces, then takes another look around to make sure that they’re alone. It’s not incriminating, but it feels that way. He doesn’t want to say something that shouldn’t be said, but at the same time, he can’t not tell the truth. He needs someone to consult here, this is all so confusing.</p><p>“I told you he’d remember. What did he say?”</p><p>Taeil wishes Taeyong let him finish his sentence, but at the same time he gets that he’s eager to know. He’s sure everyone in the office wants to know who gave him that hickey. With how many times they’ve tried to set him up, he knows they want him to date. And whoever he dates, has to pass some tests from his friends.</p><p>“He said it was him,” Taeil finally says.</p><p>“Him who?”</p><p>He can’t believe he actually has to draw this out for Taeyong.</p><p>“It was Johnny.”</p><p>Taeyong jerks his head back and he starts blinking more than his usual. He’s trying to digest it, just like Taeil did.</p><p>“What the fuck,” he finally replies.</p><p>“Ask that like a thousand more times, and you’ll get to where I am,” Taeil says, seconding it with a sigh.</p><p>“What are you gonna do now?”</p><p>“I have no idea.”</p><p>“Did you like… enjoy it. Do you like him?”</p><p>“I don’t remember Taeyong, and I don’t know.”</p><p>“He’s not bad to look at. He’s not drop dead gorgeous, either,” Taeyong says, and Taeil just looks at him, cause he remembers Taeyong’s exact words the first time he came over after Johnny moved in. Taeil feels tightness in his stomach cause the way the conversation is progressing only makes his uneasiness grow. There are no actual answers, Taeil didn’t expect there to be, but the added questions are making this worse, “Okay. I know. I’ve never seen anyone as charming as him, I need to stand by my words.”</p><p>“I thought he was straight,” Taeil states, expressing the one thing that’s bothering him more than everything.</p><p>“I thought so too.”</p><p>“Do you think Yuta knows?”</p><p>“Do you think Yuta wouldn’t have said anything by now if he knew something like that?”</p><p>If Yuta knew what happened, everyone in the office would know by now. Everyone in the coffee shop downstairs would probably know as well, actually.</p><p>Taeil is about to agree with Taeyong’s logic when they get interrupted.</p><p>“Boss, the lady from the jewelry shop will be here for the meeting in ten minutes. You said to remind you,” Mark says to him. Right. The meeting. He’s at work after all, “The documents are ready at the conference table.”</p><p>“Thanks Mark,” Taeil returns. Before he walks away from the water cooler, going back to his daily tasks he manages to whisper a plea towards Taeyong, “Can you find out what’s up.”</p><p>“I’m on it.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Taeyong makes it happen so Yuta hangs back for a few minutes after work, and after everyone has left. It’s Taeyong’s idea, so it’s also him that tells Yuta what happened, and as response Yuta laughs at him. And not like his normal laugh, it’s so hysterical and loud that it’s borderline a maniacal cackle and Taeil’s confused.</p><p>“The fuck is wrong with you?” Taeyong asks, his voice stern.</p><p>“What? You can’t be serious.”</p><p>“I am serious.”</p><p>“No. It’s a misunderstanding,” Yuta insists.</p><p>“Jesus, why would he lie about it?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Yuta seconds it with a shrug, “It’s just, there’s no way.”</p><p>“Yuta,” Taeil attempts.</p><p>“There is only one thing I know for certain about that dude, and that is that he’s straight. He’s my straightest friend. So, it can’t be.”</p><p>“How certain can you actually be though?” Taeil asks. It’s the one question that keeps popping up in his head. He thought he knew too, he might not be best friends with the guy, but they’ve lived together long enough that Taeil would’ve noticed. Should’ve noticed.</p><p>“Well, a little less, now that you’re telling me this, but still around 90 percent.”</p><p>“If he mentions something, will you please let us now,” Taeyong wonders.</p><p>“Yes. I will let you know when that doesn’t happen,” Yuta rolls his eyes at them. He’s gathering his things, the conversation evidently over, “Listen, I’m going out with him tonight. I don’t know what happened, I don’t know where you are, but I’m pretty sure he’s gonna pick up someone, so be ready for that.”</p><p>“I’m not anywhere. I’m just confused,” Taeil promises.</p><p>It’s the truth. He has no feelings in the game here. All he has is the need to know what the actual fuck is going on.</p><p>He really hopes he’ll find an answer soon. This isn’t a fun headspace to be in.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Yuta’s right. Johnny does bring back someone with him that night.</p><p>Taeil’s in the living room, going through the books for the lady from the jewelry shop, trying to figure out how her previous accountants screwed her over exactly, when Johnny comes back, and he brings a girl with him. Taeil knows it will happen, sure, Yuta told him hours ago, but also, Johnny texted that he’s bringing someone back. That’s the deal, they let each other know in advance.</p><p>What Taeil’s surprised by in this situation is that Johnny’s back before midnight. Seems like there’s a first time for anything.</p><p>“Hey roomie.”</p><p>“Hey,” he returns. The girl looks startled when she sees that Johnny has a roommate, so Taeil offers a smile. He might be confused about everything, but he’s not a cock block in any way, “Don’t let me interrupt.”</p><p>“It’s that room over there, baby,” Johnny points to his room’s door, and the girl heads that way. He waits until she closes the door behind herself to talk to Taeil, “We won’t be loud.”</p><p>“I know. You never are,” Taeil returns.</p><p>“Did you bring home work again?” Johnny asks him as he walks over and takes a seat on the coffee table in front of Taeil.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“You work too much Taeil. You never play.”</p><p>“I play enough.”</p><p>“Sure you do,” Johnny gives him a smile. He reaches over, fingers underneath Taeil’s chin. He tilts his head up, then he leans down and plants a kiss on Taeil’s lips. It all happens too fast for Taeil to protest, “Goodnight sweetheart.”</p><p>
  <em>What the actual fuck.</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Taeil doesn’t learn the girl’s name, but he does learn that she works at a boutique that are his client and Hyuck does the books for. They walk together to the bus station, chatting along the way, and with how nice the girl is Taeil feels kind of bad that he’s never going to see her again. That’s how it usually goes with Johnny’s girls, no exception so far.</p><p>“I told you he was going to bring a girl back,” Yuta says, a smug look on his face as he announces it in front of the entire office. And Taeil can’t wait to tell him what happened, especially since he brought it up in front of everyone, and he couldn’t keep it to himself.</p><p>“Hey Yuta. Do you know what happened between the moment he brought the girl back and the moment he went to his room to have sex with her?”</p><p>“What?” Yuta asks, and with that everyone’s eyes are on Taeil, as they wait for the conclusion of the exchange.</p><p>“He kissed me,” Taeil states, and he watches as the smugness melts off Yuta’s face, “And I wasn’t drunk this time, so I remember it very well.”</p><p>“Wait, did your roommate give you the hickey?” Hyuck asks, “Cause if so, I owe Jungwoo money.”</p><p>“He did.”</p><p>“Told you he was interested in men to some degree,” Jungwoo says proudly. Hyuck swears, reaching for his bag to pay up on the bet he and Jungwoo had set.</p><p>“The baby gay could tell before I could?” Yuta asks, looking over at everyone.</p><p>“I don’t know why you’re surprised. As a baby gay, I received my gaydar brand spanking new, the accuracy rate is quite strong, it‘s made no mistakes so far.”</p><p>“Yuta, your friend is messing with ours. Fix it,” Mark then says.</p><p>“Anything for you, babe.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“They’re playing against the Cavaliers. Come on.”</p><p>That is important for some reason that he’s unfamiliar with, but Taeil still says yes. There are drinks on the coffee table set for them both, but he doesn’t have any alcohol. Instead he pulls out a bottle of water from the fridge. He won’t let the same thing happen as it did last week. That being said, the unusual thing is that he’s actually watching basketball, paying complete attention to the score and the game play. He’s picked up on some things from having seen so many games. He’s no expert, but he’s able to enjoy it.</p><p>It’s a pretty normal evening. For the most part. That’s until the middle of the last quarter, when Johnny’s hand lands on Taeil’s thigh.</p><p>At first Taeil figures it’s an accident. So he waits a few moments, looking down at where Johnny’s hand is resting, just waiting for him to pull his hand away. The moment doesn’t come though. So Taeil tries his other tactic.</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>“What does it look like I’m doing?”</p><p>Taeil knows it’s supposed to be flirty, but he’s too annoyed and confused by everything that’s going on to play along with it.</p><p>“Move your hand please.”</p><p>“You don’t like it when it’s there?” Johnny attempts again, sounding smug.</p><p>“I don’t.”</p><p>“Alright,” Johnny says, moving his hand away, “Did you think about it?”</p><p>The question only adds to Taeil’s confusion. His mind races as he tries to think of an answer.</p><p>“Think about what?”</p><p>“My offer.”</p><p>Yeah, that doesn’t clear anything up.</p><p>“Stop talking in tongues, please.”</p><p>“Do you not remember?”</p><p>“No,” Taeil responds, shaking his head, “Tell me.”</p><p>Johnny looks at him, he’s considering whether or not he should say anything.</p><p>“I’ll wait until you remember,” he concludes.</p><p>“That’s not fair.”</p><p>“What’s not fair is that you forgot an offer like that. I don’t make those often,” he tells him, ending his statement with a playful wink.</p><p>None of this is helpful. The more he thinks about it, trying to recall what might have been said, the more his body tenses up. Why couldn’t Johnny just be frank with him about what’s going on. Why does it have to be a game?</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The following morning there’s more laughter coming from Yuta, and it’s even more maniacal than the previous fit of laughter he had to offer. It sounds so concerning that it captures everyone’s attention.</p><p>“You don’t know what I know, and I’m not supposed to tell you.” Thing it, Taeil now knows the one thing he can use against Yuta. To do exactly that all he needs to do is look at Mark. “No. No! Don’t put sweet, innocent Mark in this. The filth I have to say is the last thing he should hear.”</p><p>“So there’s filth involved,” Taeyong says, before he throws an accusatory pointer towards Yuta.</p><p>“It’s Johnny, of course filth is involved,” Yuta says, as if it’s the most obvious thing ever, “He wants you to remember.”</p><p>“I know that much.”</p><p>“Did he say something that night?” Taeyong looks at Taeil. Oh, how he wishes he had an answer.</p><p>“I don’t recall, that’s the problem.”</p><p>Yuta, on the other hand, is enjoying the exchange.</p><p>“Did he say something! Oh, the things he said.”</p><p>“If Taeil doesn’t remember, you’re just gonna have to tell us,” Hyuck suggests.</p><p>“Illie, if you don’t remember by Monday, I’ll tell everyone else, cause I’m technically not allowed to tell you. Deal?”</p><p>“Deal.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Thing is, not remembering despite all his attempts doesn’t mean that Taeil does anything besides attempt some more. It shouldn’t be like that, he should relax and more importantly, he should focus on work. Instead, all he focuses on is Johnny and whatever it was that he might’ve said.</p><p>It’s like that for days. It bothers him way more than it should, and everyone around him is starting to notice.</p><p>“We’re going out tonight,” Jungwoo tells him, and his voice is so assertive that Taeil should connect the dots. But he doesn’t. He’s too absentminded.</p><p>“Okay, have fun.”</p><p>“No, hyung, you’re coming with us.”</p><p>“I have a dinner meeting with the guys from the IT company,” Taeil says.</p><p>“No, you don’t. They canceled,” Mark lets him know.</p><p>“When?”</p><p>“Yesterday. I didn’t tell you so you’d go out with us.”</p><p>They had it planned. Sneaky little brats.</p><p>“Where are we going?”</p><p>“Leave it all to us. We’re buying,” Hyuck tells him before he turns to Taeyong, “Taeyong hyung, you should come with us too. Bring your boyfriend, I haven’t been scolded in a while.”</p><p>“Sure. You could use a talking to.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Taeil takes people back to the apartment too, it’s not just Johnny. He doesn’t do it as often though, he must be extremely horny or frustrated to do it. It’s usually months between occurrences, basically nothing compared to Johnny’s friends that visit weekly.</p><p>The way that Taeil doesn’t make a big deal out of Johnny’s friends is the same way that he expects Johnny to act. And Johnny does, usually. That’s why Taeil’s completely taken aback when Johnny’s being intrusive and slightly petty about it this time around.</p><p>The guy that Taeil takes home is drop dead gorgeous. Ten was the one that approached Taeil and showed interest in him first. He chatted to everyone, including Taeyong’s boyfriend, and he was mad respectful. But even more important than that, he’s interested in fucking Taeil. That’s a once in a blue moon event.</p><p>The guy has a hand on Taeil’s hip, holding him delicately. He is kissing him so softly, their lips fitting so perfectly, that Taeil feels wanted in a way he hasn’t felt before. And then they get interrupted by a knock on Taeil’s door.</p><p>Ten pulls away, smiling at Taeil.</p><p>“Sorry,” Taeil mutters at him before he answers, “Yeah?”</p><p>Johnny cracks open the door, and peaks his head in.</p><p>“Hi. Sorry. Can I talk to you for a moment?” he asks, before adding, “Outside.”</p><p>Taeil looks at Ten, an unspoken question between them. He waits for him to nod before he answers.</p><p>“Sure. I’ll be right back,” he says before he gets off the bed.</p><p>Johnny waits for him in the hallway.</p><p>“What are you doing?” he then asks.</p><p>“What does it look like I’m doing?” Taeil replies.</p><p>“It looks like you’re about to get laid.”</p><p>“Bingo,” Taeil says, sarcastically. He needs to get whatever this is over with so he can go back inside before the mood is completely ruined.</p><p>“Do you need a condom? Lube?”</p><p>“I got what I need.”</p><p>Johnny mutters mhm, looking at Taeil as if he’s trying to read right through him.</p><p>“You still don’t remember, do you?”</p><p>“I really don’t.”</p><p>“Okay. So I shouldn’t take it personally.”</p><p>Taeil’s growing even more frustrated.</p><p>“You shouldn’t, cause I don’t know what that means.”</p><p>“I can’t wait for you to remember,” Johnny smiles.</p><p>“And if I don’t.”</p><p>“Then it never happened,” he winks at him. With a smile he concludes, “Go, get him tiger,” and walks away.</p><p>Taeil goes back into his room, shaking off the odd exchange immediately. There are more important things that need his attention, and those things have a beautiful smile.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The main difference between Taeil’s one night stands and Johnny’s is that if they stay the night, Taeil makes breakfast for whoever he brings home. He doesn’t want to seem ungrateful for the acts, or make it seem like he’s rushing to get the person out of the apartment. Taeil never sleeps with anyone he doesn’t want to see again in the morning.</p><p>Taeil has all intention to do that. But when his alarm goes off he wakes up to find himself alone in bed, while the smell of eggs drifts into the room from the hallway. As he blinks himself awake he realizes that there are voices too. Johnny, and Ten from last night who he’s happy to learn is still here.</p><p>Odd thing is, Johnny never makes breakfast. Taeil honestly didn’t think that he knew how.</p><p>Taeil can’t wait for Monday to come.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Last night was great,” Taeil says to him. They’re saying goodbye, and Taeil isn’t exactly sure how to say it, but he’d love to see Ten again. Complimenting him about what they did last night seemed like a great way to break the ice.</p><p>“It was. We should do that again sometime.”</p><p>“We should,” Taeil smiles. Fuck yes. They’re on the same page. He looks down at Ten’s lips for a moment, negotiating with himself, “Can I…”</p><p>“Yes, please,” Ten smiles back at him, and Taeil leans in.</p><p>That’s the moment the triggers something in him. The combination of ‘please’ and the timid kiss that follows it.</p><p>Taeil remembers. He remembers all of it.</p><p>“I’ll see you for our appointment next week,” Ten says to him when they end the kiss.</p><p>“See you.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The memories that came back stew in him all the way to work. He’s furious when he arrives at the office. He doesn’t greet anyone, which is a dead giveaway that something is up, so the attention is on him, his friends are curious. He leaves everything on his desk, takes his phone out of his pocket, and calls Johnny immediately. His audience is engaging right from the get go.</p><p>“What’s up?” Johnny asks, and from his voice Taeil can tell that this is the last thing Johnny’s expecting.</p><p>“You want me to fuck you?”</p><p>There’s a silence on the other end of the line, it lasts long enough for everyone around Taeil to realize what’s going on. They don’t have too many dots to connect. Especially since Yuta already has both of his hands in the air, celebrating the occasion. Taeil points at him, and with nothing more than a stern look orders Yuta not to do that.</p><p>“You remembered?”</p><p>“I remembered you begging, yes,” Taeil says, then watches as Hyuck uses both hands to cover his face, but it’s too late, Taeil already knows the young one is laughing. Another point. Another stern look. But with Hyuck those never work.</p><p>“And all your friends know now, not just Yuta.” The way Johnny says it, it’s not a question.</p><p>“A less obvious hickey would’ve protected you better.”</p><p>“So what do you say?”</p><p>Taeil can’t believe this is happening.</p><p>“You’re not seriously asking that of me.”</p><p>“I am. Come on, you know I don’t get attached. And if you’re going to start dating Ten, who just this morning told me he is interested in you, it’s best that you do this now. I don’t want to ruin your relationship,” Johnny sounds so innocent as he says it. Taeil still can’t believe he’s serious. So many questions are popping up in his head, all the hows and whys. The whys are especially nagging.</p><p>“Or I can just start dating Ten now, so you won’t be tempted to ask for this again.”</p><p>On the other side of Taeil’s peripheral vision he can see Mark celebrating at the mention of Ten. He must have already booked that appointment then. Mark’s mimicking Yuta’s celebration, so Taeil does the same. Third time in less than five minutes. Point and stern look, so Mark stops, then pouts.</p><p>“Yeah, but it’ll always be at the back of your mind then. Unfinished business.”</p><p>Fuck. He’s right.</p><p>“We’ll talk more when I get home.”</p><p>“I can’t wait.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Taeil’s sitting at the dining room table, right opposite of Johnny. He’s ready to get to the bottom of this. Whatever this is, it concludes right now.</p><p>“Why?” Taeil asks.</p><p>“I’m getting transferred to the states next month. It’s now or never. And I really want it to be you. I know you’ll treat me right.”</p><p>“You’re moving?” Taeil prompts, then watches as Johnny nods. After a bit of silence of Taeil trying to let it sink in, he has another important question on mind, “Are you?” It’s obvious what he wants to say. There’s no need to finish the sentence.</p><p>“I don’t know what I am. But all my friends are, and I’m curious,” Johnny admits, “I know what your next question is, so I’ll answer now. I don’t want it from anyone else.”</p><p>Taeil considers it. He quickly runs through all the different scenarios in his head. There doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of negatives here. At realizing that, he then decides.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“Really?” Johnny is surprised by the answer, so Taeil is once again confused.</p><p>“Did you not want me to agree?”</p><p>“No, I do want it. Please agree.”</p><p>“Please?” Taeil is stunned by the choice of words.</p><p>“Jesus, Taeil. There’s nothing I want more than this. Please.”</p><p>Holy fucking shit. Just like that night, Johnny’s showing some neediness, and it does wonders for Taeil’s ego.</p><p>“Tomorrow night.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“I can’t have you falling in love with me,” he warns.</p><p>“It’s never going to happen. I swear. I don’t do love. We’ll go back to normal the next day.”</p><p>Sounds perfect. But there’s one more thing.</p><p>“No alcohol involved.”</p><p>“Not even to help loosen me up a bit?”</p><p>“It’s my job to loosen you up.”</p><p>Johnny gulps after hearing that, eyes going wide ever so slightly. If Taeil wasn’t so focused, he probably would’ve missed that. But he’s happy he did, because witnessing the sight makes Taeil excited for the following night.</p><p>“Now let’s discuss this. Tell me exactly what you want.”</p><p>Johnny does exactly that. He tells him what he wants to happen in what way, and what he doesn’t want to happen which helps Taeil form some sort of game plan for the following night. He knows exactly what he’s going to do.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Johnny kisses him first. Taeil lets him lead at the beginning, only responding. The foreplay is something that he can take charge in, and Taeil doesn’t want him to feel left out. Johnny should have input in this too. Taeil might be the one who knows more about the things Johnny wants to do, but Johnny’s body is an unknown country, he’s gonna need to read some road signs to find his way around.</p><p>They’re in Johnny’s room because it seemed like a safer ground. This is a big deal, so Taeil wants Johnny to be as comfortable as possible. They’re lying on Johnny’s bed, Taeil hovering over him, propping himself on his hands. Johnny has a tight grip on him, hands on his hips so he has a better access and can grind his own hips up against Taeil’s, his breath hitching from the friction. They’re both hard already, the fabric between them isn’t enough to hide that.</p><p>Taeil is cautious as he doesn’t want to go too slow, or overwhelm him. He tries to read into Johnny’s movements, his eyes focused on his facial expression as he lets Johnny’s responses to the sensations lead him into what should happen next. So when he starts pulling on Taeil’s shirt, urging for things to move forward ever so slightly, it’s something he can’t say no to. They start undress each other slowly, pieces of clothing being thrown on the floor piece by piece, and it’s a sight to see. Taeil always lets himself forget exactly how good of a body Johnny has.</p><p>Taeil moves his attention away from Johnny’s lips, and he kisses down a line until he reaches Johnny’s chest. He breathes over his right nipple, uncertain whether or not he should.</p><p>“Is this okay?” he asks, looking up in time to catch Johnny gulping before he nods permission. Taeil lowers his lips, being as gentle as he can, leaving kisses and light suctions. He grazes his teeth next to Johnny’s nipple, earning a gasp in response. He keeps the gentle trails his hand down Johnny’s body until he reaches his thigh and Johnny inhales sharply, “Everything okay?” Taeil asks.</p><p>“Yeah,” he receives a nod in response, “Keep going.”</p><p>Taeil doesn’t rush in any way. He caresses his way towards Johnny’s ass. “Up,” he orders, then grabs a pillow and places it underneath Johnny. The next thing he reaches for is the lube, popping the cap open and squirting some onto his pointer and middle finger. He starts softly teasing around Johnny’s entrance and perineum, spreading the lube and carefully preparing for the next step. Johnny’s bracing himself, hands fisted in the bed sheets.</p><p>“Taeil, come on,” Johnny’s voice sounds like a beg. He’s so worked up already, and they’ve barely started, Taeil can’t wait to see how Johnny’s going to respond to the rest. Johnny’s doing pretty well as Taeil starts with his pointer, slowly. He then retrieves it, adds more lube before he pushes in again. Johnny seems to be enjoying it so far, his breathing sped up, but that’s expected. He doesn’t show any sign of discomfort, so Taeil slides in a bit more of the length of his finger. He starts moving in and out, circling ever so slightly so he can make space for a second finger, “Fuck.”</p><p>“Is it good?”</p><p>“More, Taeil. Please. More.”</p><p>More it is. He pulls out again, slicks up his fingers with even more lube, then adds a second finger. Johnny’s more respondent now, the occasional grunt leaving his lips. It’s not long before Johnny’s pleading for a third finger, gasping at the sensation. It’s moving faster than Taeil expected it. Johnny’s eager, he seems to know his body and limits really well, and Taeil can only listen follow directions. He’s happy with the progress he’s made, and he’s getting cocky. He knows Johnny can tell that’s the case when Taeil starts brushing against his prostate and then teases.</p><p>“How does it feel?”</p><p>But it seems like Johnny doesn’t really care at all.</p><p>“It’s… ahh, good. So good,” Johnny manages, seconding it with an audible swallow, “Please… I need… more. You. Please.” And Taeil can’t deny him anymore. He slicks his cock up, then lowers himself over Johnny’s body. He pushes in with all the restraint he has. It’s a tight fit, and by the look on Johnny’s face, his eyes squeezed shut, he can tell that it’s not the most pleasurable stretch. So he paces himself, stilling for a few moments to allow Johnny do get used to the feeling. “Holy fuck,” Johnny says, the words catching in his throat.</p><p>“You’re doing amazing.”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah. Just relax. I got you,” Taeil whispers, pushing Johnny’s hair back with his free hand. Johnny grabs him by the neck in response, and pulls him in for a kiss.</p><p>He starts moving soon after, urged by Johnny who can’t wait anymore. Once he sets a pace, he wraps a hand around Johnny’s cock, pumping at the same pace as his thrusts. As he speeds up Johnny’s hands travel to his sides, nails digging into his skin and Johnny becomes louder.</p><p>“Right there. Don’t stop,” Johnny moans in between statements, and Taeil can’t help but smile with pride. The sounds the man underneath him makes suddenly get too much and Taeil starts losing focus. He loses his rhythm, starts thrusting in a little harder, and gets encouraged by the chorus of ‘harder’ and ‘yes’ leaving Johnny’s lips. He feels himself getting closer, and around the same time he feels Johnny starting to lose himself, clenching around Taeil.</p><p>“Let go baby,” Taeil orders, and Johnny does exactly that, seconding it with a groan. Few thrusts later it’s Taeil’s turn. He’s just as loud as he rides it out, spilling inside Johnny. He collapses on top of him just moments later, and they’re both trying to catch their breaths.</p><p>Once he feels calm enough, Taeil pulls out, falls on the mattress next to Johnny.</p><p>“That was…” Johnny begins, and instead of actual words he finishes his sentence with “Wow.”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Thank you. It was exactly what I wanted, and better than I imagined.”</p><p>“No problem,” Taeil cracks a smile, “You should shower.”</p><p>“Okay. Sleep here tonight?”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Johnny said they’ll go back to normal the next day, he wasn’t kidding. There’s no mention of it, no extra attention. Johnny made breakfast for Ten that morning Taeil slept in, but he didn’t make anything for Taeil. Taeil initially isn’t sure if he should be offended, or happy that nothing’s changed. He later decides that he’s happy about it. He isn’t too happy that Johnny will be moving though. He’ll have to look for a new roommate, he’ll have to get used to someone new. He’ll miss the great coexistence he had with Johnny.</p><p>Life at work goes back to normal too. His friends pretend to forget all about what happened, and the thing between him and Johnny gets mentioned only once. By Mark of all people, as he’s giving him the rundown his schedule for the next day.</p><p>“And at noon you have a lunch date… pardon, appointment, with Ten… pardon, Mr. Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul. I did practice it in the mirror, thank you very much,” Mark smiles proudly, making Taeil chuckle, “He’ll be here for a consultation. I took the liberty of ordering some food for you two. Also, I know you’re having sex with your roommate, but please stop that and date Ten, we all really like him. I mean, except for Doyoung, but we’re not sure if Doyoung likes Taeyong, and those two have been dating for like centuries.”</p><p>Mark isn’t known for bluntly saying exactly what he means with such ease, so Taeil appreciates that he’d do it for him.</p><p>“I’m not sleeping with my roommate, it was a onetime thing,” Taeil explains, “I’d also like to date Ten.”</p><p>“You should tell him. That you like him, but also about Johnny. Start off on a clean slate, don’t allow anything to trip you down the line,” Mark suggests, leaving Taeil with that thought. He nods, consuming the words and storing them for later. It’s something to think about. But not while he’s in the middle of preparing statutory accounts, he can’t be distracted with such sensitive documents.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Taeil takes Mark’s advice. It’s a risk, but he doesn’t want to hide anything.</p><p>They talk business at first. After all, that’s what Ten is here for. He tries to calculate on when to bring it up, and by the time he picks up the courage he’s already walking Ten out of the office building.</p><p>“I slept with my roommate last weekend,” the words spill out of him in a somewhat questionable tone, and he can only hope that Ten gives him a chance to explain. Ten narrows his eyes, and Taeil almost loses hope.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“It was a one time, no strings attached thing. He’s moving away a couple of weeks. I want you to know so it doesn’t come in between us later on.” He feels like he’s basically quoting Mark, but Ten doesn’t know that, so he can get away with it easily.</p><p>A lot is riding on Taeil’s feeling that Ten likes him too, and the feeling that Ten wouldn’t hold something like this against him. They’re not exclusive at the moment, and he’s gonna use that as an excuse if he has to.</p><p>“I see,” Ten returns, “I mean, I appreciate it. You didn’t have to tell me cause we’re not dating yet. I like that you’re honest with me.”</p><p>Yet. That’s the keyword there, Taeil realizes, and he clings onto it, his chest tightening at the excitement of hearing it.</p><p>“But?”</p><p>“No but.”</p><p>“Okay. Cause I’d like to date you. Would you like to go out with me? This Friday.”</p><p>“Yes,” Ten gives him a smile, “You have my number now. Text me the details.”</p><p>“Will do.”</p><p>“And please don’t sleep with anyone else,” Ten teases, smiling widely.</p><p>“I won’t, I promise.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Johnny moves out in exactly a month, moving to the US, and Taeil decides not to look for another roommate. He manages for a few months until he’s able to completely afford the apartment again because he figures, if push comes to shove, he can always crush at Ten’s.</p><p>He forgets about the night. It’s like it never happened.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading! please let me know what you think of it.<br/>if you enjoyed this feel free to check out my other works.<br/>stay safe everyone. now go say happy birthday to taeil. 🤗</p><p> </p><p>
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